Lovers & Losers

The new dating paradigm: "hook up, break up, and get even"

Boy how things have changed in the world today. It seems like it was just yesterday when you could watch television shows like The Courtship of Eddie's Father, The Brady Bunch, Good Times, and Different Strokes during the afternoon or family hour programming time slots. When the topic of dating was presented on these family shows, the "ah moments" were when a boy and girl kissed on the first date. In some cases, you could hear the studio audience say "oooooooh" or a serious music tone would take the scene to black then to a commercial break. Today, we witness two individuals fall in love, go to bed, simulate a sex act, smoke a cigarette, argue over something dumb, break up, and then find a new partner to repeat the cycle.

Some lovers even take the relationship to "another level" by moving in together to express their commitment to one another. In the late 1970's, Lawrence Stone, the distinguished Oxford historian on family life, saw signs that the existing family structure was changing to a loosely held confederation and he documented this social shift. The arrangements that Lawrence Stone observed were a "new, more loosely structured, less emotional and sexually cohesive, far more temporary" relationship that couples were engaged. Barbara Dafoe Whitehead defined this new paradigm as the "hook up, break up, and get even" way of mating and dating.

As followers of Jesus Christ, I thank God we do not engage in pre-marital sexual activities and cohabitation outside of marriage. Our minds have been renewed. Apostle Paul says this, "Don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Romans 12:2 NLT. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are able to enter into loving, committed relationships that are based on the teachings of Christ. Love for God, our neighbor and oneself is the foundation on which Christian relationships are founded. If you are living a lifestyle that is inconsistent with the teachings of Christ, you can be in fulfilling and meaningful relationship, when you repent and accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Upon acceptance, Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit will lead and guide you unto all truth regarding a holy and acceptable lifestyle.

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